PINEAPPLE EXPRESS

Directed by David Gordon Green

Written by Seth Rogan, Evan Goldberg, and Judd Apatow

Staring Seth Rogan, James Franco, Danny McBride

The Apatow/Rogan comedic machine keeps on rolling, but sooner or later the wheels have to fall off the bus, right? Well, not this year, because Pinapple Express is what all pot films need to be, at times hilarious, at times head scratchingly weird.

Rogan plays stoner Dale who witnesses a murder and drags his even stonier dealer Saul on the run from the police and rival gangs. Actually Rogan, as in all his films, only plays Rogan, but his act is a good fit here, though he is overshadowed by James Franco's turn as Saul, perhaps the best stoner performance since the immortal Spicoli. He really is great here and puts real emotion and depth into what could have been a one-trick role.

I really enjoyed the film but here's my complaint. Pineapple Express doesn't know if it wants to be a pot comedy, a dark comedy, or an action comedy, and the transitions between these three genres is jarring. Act One is all good fun and jokes, full of slapstick and zingers. The film takes a shockingly graphic turn in Act Two as Red (Danny McBride), Saul's weed supplier, is seemingly killed execution style by some hit men. The entire film suddenly takes a seriously darker turn as things fall apart for Dale and Saul. Yet in Act Three Pineapple Express shifts into full on John Woo style action as our incompetent stoners takes on the bad guys with guns blazing and... wait for it... ninjas. Yes, machine gun toting ninjas.

All that being said, I lol'ed several times and will put Pineapple Express up as one of the top comedies of the year.

Movie Cheetah's Grade: B

STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS

I can't help but wish this film did not exist. I won't spend a lot of time expounding about the worthlessness of this film. The clunky animation is worse then most video game animatics. The story is maddeningly simplistic, nay, downright stupid, the awkward dialog vomit-inducing. What Lucasfilm was thinking by releasing this theatrically is beyond me...well not really, the reason starts with $ and ends with $. This is the pilot for the animated Clone Wars TV series debuting this fall on Cartoon Network or TBS or something. A series I was looking forward to seeing. No longer.

Some may say this is a "kids cartoon," and it is, but that's not an excuse for sucking. It did accomplish it's intended goal, however, as my 5-year old loved it, and immediately wanted me to buy him the severely over-priced toys. Worst film of the year, so far.*

The Sneaky Cheetah's Grade: F

*This opinion from an admitted Star Wars junkie.

read here, here, and here!

THE DARK KNIGHT

Written and Directed by Christopher Nolan

Starring Christian Bale, Heath Ledger, Aaron Eckhart, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Michael Caine, Gary Oldman, Morgan Freeman

A Masterpiece. Instant Classic. Modern work of Cinematic Greatness. Need I go on?

For two and a half hours I sat enthralled in this Gothic tale of morality and mayhem. And loved every second of it. It's so much more then just a Batman movie. The actors, the cinematography, and especially the script, hell, every aspect of the film is executed to near perfection. Writer/Director Christopher Nolan takes the Batman story into the ultra-real world that the Batman comics entered more than 15 years ago, losing the cartoony villains and corny gadgets. The result is less a super hero film, but a straight crime drama.

PLOT RECAP! The trio of Batman, last good cop Jim Gordan and golden boy DA Harvey Dent agree to take down all organized crime in Gotham City. Batman sees Dent as the future of the city, the "white knight" that can inspire the people in ways he cannot. Meanwhile the Joker offers his services to the mob to take down Batman and Gotham's leaders, but his motives are actually to seize control of the criminal underworld and spread corruption and fear among the people of Gotham.

So here's my Heath Ledger take. I don't care that he's pushing daisies. His performance is legendary. Rarely does an actor so disappear into a role (Marion Cotillard in "Le Vie en Rose" last year comes to mind). He exudes psychotic. He is truly frightening, not only when he's being violent, but he's even scarier when crossing the street. Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal Lector is the only comparison that comes close. Ledger owns every scene he's in. As for the Joker character, gone is the clown prince of crime. I love the fact that we get no orgin. We don't know his motivations, and he's more frightening because of it. A killer with no motive except the spread of anarchy.

But besides the Joker and Batman, the other residents of Gotham really get to shine. Is there a more prestigious supporting cast then Gary Oldman, Michael Caine, and Morgan Freeman. Everyone (including the general population of Gotham!) is put into a situation where they must make a film altering decision that tests their character's morals. I especially love Oldman depicting the evolution of Jim Gordon, from Sargent to Lieutenant to Police Commissioner. Aaron Eckhardt turns in a good performance as the Angel of Gotham , DA Harvey Dent and his fall from grace as the disfigured Two-Face. His performance is filled with pain you empathise with and his descent to madness is believable. Then there's Maggie Gyllenhaal, an actress I love, taking over the Rachel Dawes character from Katie Holmes, an upgrade in talent if not hotness. Dare I say she turns in an explosive performance.

WTF!?! It seems I haven't even mentioned Christian Bale. One of the top actors working today (see American Psycho, The Prestige and 3:10 to Yuma). The perfect Bruce Wayne and a damn good Batman. He tends to growl more as Batman, i mean REALLY growl, and it almost started to bother me. But he wouldn't want his buddies to recognize him, would he? The pantheon of Batman actors will always be compared to each other, and Bale rates as a better Bruce Wayne then Michael Keaton and a better Batman then Val Kilmer.

This is what happens when iconic characters are put into the hands of visionary directors. Tim Burton's Batman (1989) was obstensively the birth of the blockbuster comic book film, but Christopher Nolan has now transcended the genre. Only a few times have I felt this way about a film as I walked out of the theater, and those were The Lord of the Rings trilogy, The Matrix, Saving Private Ryan, and Pulp Fiction. Not only is the Dark Knight the best "Super Hero" film EVER, it will rank as one of the greatest FILMS ever. Click here if you don't believe me!

The Sneaky Cheetah's Grade: A+

Bonus Bat Cycle picture below!

WALL-E

directed by Andrew Stanton

Starring Fred Willard, Cliff Claven, and some other people.

It had to happen eventually. The streak is over. I'm going to go against virtually every critic out there and say Pixar has finally stumbled. WALL-E is a dud.

Dud may be too harsh. And maybe my expectations were too high. But after months of hearing that cute WaaaAAAlleeeeeeeee sound all over the place, I was ready to be wowed. And it starts off promising. Just like last years "last man on earth" film I Am Legend, the first third of Wall-e (I now refuse to use all caps) is very good. Wall-e's utter aloneness (except for an indestructible pet cockroach) is intriguing and fascinating. When a sleek new robot named EVE arrives from parts unknown, the movie starts to take a dive. Wall-e's obsessive behavior and unflinching devotion to EVE seems kind of out of character for the unique independent worker, and kind of creepy coming from a robot. Wall-e's journey to the space cruiser where all the humans have been chillin' for 700 years has the film plummeting to mediocrity. You are pummeled with the message of the film, that humans will destroy the earth with pollution and garbage, then become slothful zombies who's every needs are served by robots. What could have been a slap sticky "fish out of water" romp through the cruiser is not very creative and rarely funny. Also missing is a big climactic final action scene as our heroes Wall-e and Eve are almost forgotten so the human captain can, wait for it...., stand up and turn off the auto pilot! WOW! uhh, stupid.

The animation does not disappoint, and you truly forget this is an animated film until you see the big squishy humans. There's also a curious decision to include some live action scenes of Fred Willard that seemed jarring at first, but makes more sense now that I think about it, separating the humans of old from the tons o' fun humans of the future.

This seems like it would have been a fantastic short film. I don't have a problem with the almost silent quality of the film, but kids may not be held in thrall by visuals alone. My review may sound harsh, but Wall-E is not horrible when compared with most of the animated trash released recently, but it's easily the worst of the 9 Pixar films.

The Sneaky Cheetah's Grade: C

Iron Man

Directed by John Favreau
Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Jeff Bridges, Gwyneth Paltrow, Terrance Howard


Although I grew up immersed in the Marvel Universe, Iron Man was never very interesting to me. He was just a guy in a suit. But he's always been a major player in the MU and has grown more and more important in recent years. It was only a matter of time before they got ol' shell head up on the silver screen.

A note on movies about Marvel characters. All the marvel films until this year were produced for a variety of different companies, a result of marvel selling off film right to it's various characters when the company had financial trouble in the 90's. So Spider-Man was made by Columbia/Sony, X-Men, Fantastic Four, and Daredevil by 20th Century Fox, Blade by New Line, Hulk by Universal, etc. Besides Spidey 3 and X-Men 3, Marvel films have lately been god awful suck-fests (both Fantastic Fours, Punisher, Elektra, and the worst film of 2007 Ghost Rider). Marvel has since wised up to how profitable these films can be and created their own film production company, to self produce it's own properties. Iron Man is the first of these self produced films. And they knocked it out of the park!

The greatness of this film starts in one place: Robert Downey Jr. He is totally comfortable in playing a character that has to have a pretty drastic change of heart (PUN!) He brings a casual humor not present in other uptight, underwritten heroes (see Nick Cage in Ghost Rider). Unlike some Batmen that were shitty Bruce Wayne/good Batman (Val Kilmer) or shitty Batman/good Bruce Wayne (George Clooney), Downey owns this role as Tony Stark, from frivolous billionaire arms dealer, to frustrated but driven inventor to heroic armored warrior. Gwyneth Paltrow shines as his assistant/maybe love interest (where's she been?) and a bald Jeff Bridges creates a classic ally turned nemesis.


The movie looks phenomenal. The Iron Man armor just pops off the screen, in every scene. (I'm a rhymin' machine!) My only disappointment was in the final battle, it wasn't quite as grand as it could have been. After such great build-up and what looks to be a heavyweight showdown between armored foes, eh. It's just an "eh" battle. Also, Terrance Howard's "Rhodey" does nothing but whine. He's gonna be big in the sequels, but in this film he does zippy.


One pitfall inherently built into the super hero genre is the orgin story. You gotta do it, and it probably will take up the an hour of your film. Some do it in flashback (Daredevil, most Batman films), others play it straight (Spidey), but few make the orgin more fun, if not all together better than the rest of the movie. Iron Man is the first event film of the summer. And (I KNOW IT'S EARLY!) could be the best.

Movie Cheetah's Grade: A




** One last note. I don't think this is appropriate for young children. It's PG-13 for a reason and has some cold-blooded violence. Executions, torture, and a frolicking love scene make this a no-no for the Dominator, I don't care how much he wants to see it. Rent the kids the Iron Man cartoon from the 90's. It sucks, but you may fool them!

SPEED RACER

Directed by Andy and Larry Wachowski
Starring: Emil Hirsch, Christina Ricci, Matthew Fox, John Goodman, Susan Sarandon

Growing up, there were 3 cartoons that blew me away as a kid. Toons so original in style and content that they haunted me day and night and any chance to view these cartoons resulting in dropping whatever else was going on and/or making my parents late for wherever we were going. These toons were Jonny Quest, Robotech, and Speed Racer. With fond memories of being glued to the tube Sunday mornings while the fam scrambled to get dressed for church, the Dominator and I went to a sneak preview screening of Speed Racer on last Saturday morning.


I'm gonna scream this so everyone understands. SPEED RACER IS A KIDS MOVIE! Don't expect the Matrix. Anyone who clubs this movie is a freakin' idiot. This was not made to win Oscars (though vizFX and sound editing wins could be possible) and not made for stuffy adult film critics to gush over. It was made so a five year old could understand it. I realized this during the film as the Dominator was bouncing out of his seat, laughing and having plenty of "wow" moments. The good guys are good, the bad are bad. The family business stays together and takes on the evil corporation. And all you have to do is win the race. It doesn't break down any simpler.


Those prone to seizures, vertigo, heart palpitations and pregnant women should not watch this movie. It's visually on another planet. It's as close to a cartoon come to life as ever made. Some people hate this. I say embrace it! There are even a few moments when the film departs reality and goes into full blown acid trip mode, but these are timed well to illicit either laughter or heightened anticipation from the audience. You've got to see this on the big screen, and it's probably even better on IMAX. The races take your breath away and though the action is fast and frantic, it's well thought out and shot in a way so that it's possible to comprehend what's going on, unlike some recent CGI smorgasbords (Transformers). There's also some good kung-fu fights and... wait for it... NINJAS!

It's a good cast, though not much is asked of Hirsch (Speed), who blew me away on Into the Wild. But Ricci (Trixie), Fox(Racer X), and Goodman(Pops) are picture perfect, as is the kid cast as Spritle and the real star of the film, Chim Chim the Chimp.


So, if you go see this, make sure you bring a kid or at least a kid at heart grown up. Prepare to relive some sixties-ish family values and Saturday morning fun. I'm by no means a "car guy" but even I couldn't resist being caught up in the action, the excitement, the spectacle... the Speed!


Movie Cheetah's Grade: B

Movie Cheetah Archive

Links to all my past reviews. On one handy dandy page. What'll I think of next? There will be a link to this page on the links list for all-time. So let it be written, so let it be done.

2008
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - A
Slumdog Millionaire - A
Encounters at the End of the World - C
Milk - C
Vicky Christina Barcelona - B
Wanted - B
The Dark Knight - A+ , The Dark Knight Academy Awars Update
Wall-E - C , Wall-E Academy Award Update
Iron Man - A , Iron Man Academy Award Update
Pineapple Express - B
Star Wars: The Clone Wars - F
Speed Racer - B

2007
There Will Be Blood - A
3:10 to Yuma - A
In the Valley of Elah - A
No Country for Old Men - A
Michael Clayton - B
American Gangster - A
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End - B
Elizabeth: The Golden Age - C
Surf's Up - C
Across the Universe - B
La Vie en Rose - C
Juno - A
Gone Baby Gone - A
The Assasination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford - C
The Bourne Ultimatum - A
Transformers - B
Once - A
Eastern Promises - A
Atonement - B
Ratatouille - A
Cloverfield - B+

2006
And the Oscar goes to....
Marie Antoinette - B
Babel - C
The Prestige - A
Half Nelson - D
The Queen - A
Little Miss Sunshine - A
The Departed - A
The Devil Wears Prada - A
Flags of Our Fathers - C
The Black Dahlia - C
Click - B
Monster House - A
Happy Feet - C
United 93 - A
Pan's Labyrinth - A
Letters From Iwo Jima - A
Poseidon - D
An Inconvenient Truth - B
The Illusionist - A
X-Men: The Last Stand - B-
King Kong - A

2005
Crash - A
Kingdom of Heaven - B
Elf - B
Kicking & Screaming - F
Closer - A
Ray - A
Saw - B+
12 Angry Men - A
Waiting... - A
Robots - A
Sahara - B+
The Hichhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - C+
Layer Cake - C
Before Sunrise - A
Before Sunset - A+
Empire of the Sun - B+
Rear Window - A
Metallica: Some Kind of Monster- B
The Bad News Bears - B
Blade: Trinity - C+
Alexander - F
City of God - A
Collateral - A
Elektra - F
Batman Begins - A
The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly - B+
One Flew Over the Cukoo's Nest - B
Hotel Rwanda - A
The Longest Day - B
Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle - A
Johnson Family Vacation - F
Garden State - A
Team America: World Police - B
Ocean's Twelve - D
National Treasure - B
Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith - A+
Sin City - A+
Fever Pitch - C+
Star Wars: Clone Wars - A+
Be Cool - D
Nausicca of the Valley of the Wind - A+
Shaun of the Dead - A
Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou - A

2004
Best Films of 2004
Troy - A
King Arthur - C+
The Spongebob Squarepants Movie - B
Constantine - B
Shark Tale - C
Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgandy - A+
Harry Potter & the Prisoner of Azkaban - A+
Shrek 2 - B-
Alfie - C
Van Helsing - B-
Friday Night Lights - A